Often, Mother's Day is something we hear a lot about in our office. That it didn't go so well. That mom was disappointed. That her hopes for a good day were dashed, yet again.
We know the role of "dad" holds its own stressors, too! So this year, we wanted to intervene.
Dads, we’re here to help you deliver an AMAZING Mother’s Day.
And hear us out: this plays well for you.
This isn’t about us nagging you.
It’s about us helping you.
You’re busy. You’re burdened with work stress, chauffeur duties for extracurricular activities, the home budget (which seems to need more stretch every passing week!), aging parents, and countless other stressors that take up not only brain space every time, but ENERGY!
It’s A LOT. And you feel like you’re expected to do all of that without having a bad day. Without taking an evening to go see your friends and get your proverbial cup refilled. Without having a dang moment to decompress after you walk in the door at home, after a long commute, and some big meetings.
So, here’s the deal. To take something off your plate, we want to offer you a few tips/strategies/insights into how you can help your wife or partner have a GREAT Mother’s Day and brag about you to all of her friends.
Dads, here are four tips from a St. Louis therapist on how to plan the perfect Mother’s Day:
1. Just order the flowers now
Schedule them for delivery the day before Mother’s Day! (Who doesn’t like an extra day of celebrating?!) Our favorite is Rudy’s Flower Truck, though you can call any local joint.
2. Make a plan to do something with your kids outside of the house
Sometime that day, either in the morning or the afternoon, all of you should clear out of the house. But here’s the extra layer: you leave your wife at home. Alone. In her castle. It doesn’t matter if you take the kids to a local playground; or run errands with them; or go for a long drive. The point is: every mom wants the house to herself every once in a while.
3. Make the plans for all three meals for the day
Make a grocery list, or look up an online menu, or make a reservation. But take all of the decision-making power and O.W.N. it. Be the champion you know you are and just take care of business on the meal front.
It’s hard. We know. But it’s also possible. Think back to when you first started dating your wife. I bet you came up with some excellent ideas. And that’s because you, in your fresh, excited, motivated place of a newer relationship…..found time to think! I know you have more responsibilities now, and the relationship feels different, but you have that same brain. You have that same creative potential. Take just a few minutes of thinking time and use those same abilities.
Here are some prompts to consider for a gift:
What hobbies does your wife enjoy or talk about wishing she had time to do?
What fun gadget would feel indulgent or luxurious to her? (Hint: this is not a new vacuum or a new iron.)
What kind of getaway or service (e.g. facial; pack of workout classes) would your wife enjoy, that she already doesn’t do on her own?
What kind of event would your wife enjoy attending (think concert; comedy show; sporting event)?
What kind of time with a friend would your wife like and can you make arrangements for that to happen?
Bonus consideration: get your mom a gift this year
Don’t make your wife do it. You can use the same flower order for your mom, and the same prompts for gift-giving.
**We know some of these don’t apply universally across the board. Tailor these suggestions to your knowledge of your wife and your family dynamics. But don’t tailor the meal one! We don't know a single mom who wouldn’t love an entire day off of ALL decision-making around food. Not a single one.**
You've got this. We believe in you, and we believe in your wife, and we believe in your family. Set any reminders in your calendar now, just in case you're scrolling through this while you're brushing your teeth, or giving a baby a bottle, or anything else that means you aren't able to implement anything right now.
Watch your wife attentively when you do some of these things.
And know this: she'll be bragging about how you celebrated her Mother's Day to all her friends (and to her therapist if she has one!) if you do some or all of this.
And dads.....if YOU need support, in any of your roles, or any life stressor you're dealing with, or some symptoms that are preventing YOU from thriving in your life? We’ve got you, too. In addition to specializing in maternal mental health, we do some great counseling work with men, too. Reach out if you want to chat further!
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Additional Counseling Services at Marble Wellness in St. Louis, MO and Chicago, IL
Counseling services designed to help set you on a path of living a more fulfilled, calm, and happy life.
Our St. Louis team of therapists have a variety of training backgrounds and areas of expertise. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples, and maternal overwhelm. We can also help new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois. No matter where you are in your journey, we would love to support you.
Our Chicago team of therapists offer a wide range of mental health services to help our clients through the different challenges and hurdles in their life. In addition to anxiety, depression, grief, therapy for men, and maternal overwhelm, we are specialized in professional burnout, therapy for breakups, and love partnering with working moms.