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Why Do Men Struggling with Emotions Feel So Isolated? | A Chicago Therapist on Counseling for Men

A man in a red shirt stands on a pier in Chicago. Counseling for men is available through Marble Wellness in Chicago and St. Louis.

Conversations on mental health often center on a more feminine experience; often, it is women who bring the conversations of mental health to their families. Yet when we limit mental health conversations to the experience of half the population, we miss, well, half the population!

Obviously, men are significant in their own right, independent of their relationship to anyone else. That said, everyone should want healthy men in any given society: they are our fathers, the fathers of our children, our intimate partners, and more.

Yet, many times, men struggle from the beginning simply because they have not been taught emotional coping skills. When men struggle with emotions, they often feel isolated because they have not learned to emote in community; this is a stark contrast to the social conditioning of women and girls who are taught early and consistently that emotions are meant to be shared.

So then, the next obvious question is this: what can men do about it?

You cannot go back in time and equip a preschooler with healthy emotional processing they can practice into elementary school. So, what is a man to do?

Our Chicago Therapist Shares 3 Tips on Why Counseling for Men Can Be Helpful

1. Acknowledge You Might Need Help to Process Emotions

It is really hard to change trajectories – even if your go-to responses are not especially healthy, they are what you know. More than that, it is possible they achieved a desired result. The cost to get those results may have been astronomical, but if they do achieve short term results, then the temptation to retain those habits can be strong.

For this reason, the first step generally requires a degree of self-evaluation and acknowledging that what you have been doing is not working as well as you would like. If you are struggling with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues, the solution is rarely “tough it out” until it gets better. The better solution is to ask for help.

A man walks on a sidewalk. Marble Wellness offers therapy in Chicago, Illinois for depression, anxiety, burnout, and relationship issues.

2. Seek Help From a Therapist in Chicago Who Specializes in Counseling for Men

This is simple, but it does require a few steps. If you are not at your best mentally, it can be difficult to work through “brain fog” and email or call someone to schedule an appointment. If you must navigate what your insurance will and will not cover, this is even more daunting. That said, evaluation and self-reflection do precious little good if you do not plan to do anything with the result.

Fortunately, help is available. Therapists in Chicago specialize in counseling for adult men, and support is available to you.

3. Listen to the Help

Finally, it really does pay to listen and follow through with the recommendations of your mental health professional. There is a common misperception – not limited to men but not excluding them either – that your mental health professional wants to morph you into someone that is not you.

The reality is that a good mental health professional wants you to be the best you that you can be.

Sure, that sounds like a cheesy advertisement, but the truth is that they work with you. They want you to succeed; they do this by helping you create plans with small, achievable goals, by helping you process complex feelings ranging from powerlessness to perfectionism, and by helping you confront your own insecurities. If you look at this person as someone on your team, someone who wants you to succeed, it becomes much easier to trust them and then follow through on some of their suggestions.

A man sits across from his therapist in Chicago. Marble Wellness offers therapy for men, therapy for women, therapy for teens, therapy for kids, and couples therapy.

Clearly, the road to better mental health is a difficult path. It is much easier to just go with whatever you were taught, no matter the consequences. But if you have a wake of destroyed relationships; struggle to sleep through internal fits of anger; or feel like PTSD, depression, anxiety, or another mental health struggle is keeping you from a positive relationship with your mind – there is help.

You do not have to walk that road alone. The fact that previous men in your family did or that they expect you to do the same means absolutely nothing: you can choose what is best for you. If you are ready to start working towards emotional healing, the team at Marble Wellness is here to help. Reach out today to be matched with a therapist who specializes in counseling for men. We are ready to walk alongside you on this journey.

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Marble Wellness logo. Marble Wellness is a counseling practice in Chicago and St. Louis that offers in-person therapy, virtual therapy in Illinois and Missouri, and park therapy.

Additional Counseling Services at Marble Wellness in St. Louis, MO and Chicago, IL

Counseling services designed to help set you on a path of living a more fulfilled, calm, and happy life.

St. Louis

Our St. Louis team of therapists have a variety of training backgrounds and areas of expertise. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples, and maternal overwhelm. We can also help new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois. No matter where you are in your journey, we would love to support you.


Our Chicago team of therapists offer a wide range of mental health services to help our clients through the different challenges and hurdles in their life. In addition to anxiety, depression, grief, therapy for men, and maternal overwhelm, we are specialized in professional burnout, therapy for breakups, and love partnering with working moms.

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